Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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