How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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