we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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