I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize