i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
