I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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