Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
