grandma shit on top of the toilet
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
