he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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