This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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