Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
