Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
