I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just found puke in my bra..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
