you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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