wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
