We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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