I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
