Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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