Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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