You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
