it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
