Porn is love you can see.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
