So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
