I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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