I heard we made out
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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