we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
