Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
