Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
