You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
