a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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