i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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