i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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