Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
