i may or may not be watching the land before time
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
