WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
