just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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