hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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