my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
