Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
