so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize