you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
