That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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