so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to calm my uterus...
Dicks are not precious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
