My first STD was from a foam party
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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