My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
