I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
