You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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