"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
