We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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