I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
