It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
