your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
