I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
