I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no you cant smoke seaweed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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