i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
