I heard we made out
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
