bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was like eating out sand paper
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize