did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just forgot I was standing up.
we should paint friendship bongs
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