I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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