she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
