This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can I color on your dick again?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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