He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
