somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
