But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize