She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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