She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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