You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
