Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
