The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
