Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize