Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
