now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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