Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
