This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
